Loading ...
Hi, I'm Marc van der Linden and I am very passionate about how I can inspire people to improve their life via personal and spiritual development.
Do you have a matcher or/and mismatcher attitude?
-
Look at the earrings above and describe how they relate.
What do you notice? Do you notice the way they are similar, i.e., they have the same form and colour, or do you notice that they have different figures inside? In effect, do you look first what is the same – match – or do you look first for what is different – mismatch?
Matching and mismatching are two ways of thinking patterns you can apply in any situation. None of them is necessary better than the other and both are needed.
In some professions you will see these thinking patterns are more used than in others. In software engineering and in finance, two professions where it is important to be precise and solve problems, you will find many people with a dominant mismatching attitude. However, they also need matching attitudes to be able to relate to clients, managers and colleagues. In entrepreneurship, marketing and sales, matching skills are absolutely needed. Without matching skills, they would not be able to build relationships with partners and clients.
When meeting a person for the first time, someone who searches for a match might think of similar people, similar situations, or how the other is like them. Someone who searches for a mismatch will identify what is different for this person and this situation compared to others they know and themselves.
How to recognize matchers and mismatchers
As an example, when you talk about a party where you have been with somebody, the typical reactions of a matcher and mismatcher are quite different. If you talk to a matcher, they will look what they have actually experienced there and say something like:
- “Yes, I have met a lot of nice people … “
- “There were many kinds of different, nice and delicious food such as fresh sushi, nice chinese, spicy mexican, … “
- “The Champagne was wonderful! … “
If you talk about the same party to a mismatcher, they will look what they have NOT seen, tasted, heared and say something like:
- “I would have expected Angela to be there, but she was not
“
- “They did not had a double hamburger with cheese. Why the host did not serve that? “
- “No, I have been to better parties. There were no salt chips nor cheese cakes … “
The way of excellence: the balance between matching and non-matching attitude
It is important to keep a balance of both thinking skills if you want to live a life of excellence.
Firstly, it is not healthy to be an extreme matcher, because then you don’t see any error or danger. Two times in my life, I have attended the funeral of young people, who were extreme matchers. They both drove with a motor-bike. The first one thought that “being too careful is the same as shooting in his leg”. He died when he was 17 by slipping for the second time at the very same dangerous place on that particular road. He refused to see the danger. The second one was attracted to do things without the need to learn or think about them first. He died when crossing the street with his motor-bike. He did not see any danger either.
Secondly, it is not healthy to be an extreme mismatcher. They will do the exact opposite of anything you ask them to do. These types of mismatchers are called polarity responders. They don’t see any opportunities, but think only in limitations. They cannot make any progress in life. I have met them in software engineering where they only want to work with the only tool they know and don’t see any advantage to learn other ones.
High achievers, operating at the level of excellence, have a balance of both.
To name one of them, Steve Jobs, who considered to be one of the most influential people in the world of this century has a good balance of both matching and mismatching attitudes. He has a very clear matching attitude. His very clear and detailed vision about how he could change the world of many people on Earth. His vision brought people to buy beautiful smart-phones, listen to I-pods’ and bring the internet to your phone. He has seen the opportunities nobody else has seen before.
At the other hand, his mismatching attitude is highly developed as well: he has seen the problems of our phones, CD’s and wondered why internet was not in your phone yet? He is an almost obsessive perfectionist to bring Apple to the world and makes the life of his colleagues not easy during this process. He sees many problems other people do not see.
Another known high achiever, Warren Buffet, is widely regarded as one of the most succesful investors in the world and ranked among the world’s wealthiest people. He is an notable philantrope, which is a typical matching attitude. And he has the brilliant, matching attitude of making financial analysis which brought him his immense investment fortunes.
Conclusion
It is wise to become aware of the matching/mismatching thinking patterns/attitudes. They influence your blueprint of life.
In case you are operating at one of the extremes of the matching/mismatching attitudes, it would be wise to learn to exploit and use the opposite one.
It is wise to become aware of the matching/mismatching thinking patterns/attitudes of others. Don’t take it personally. It is just a thinking pattern. And learn how to deal effectively with them to improve your relationships with others, improve the quality of your professional life and increase your financial intelligence.
I’m very curious now. In which area of life do you match? In which are you a mismatcher? Are you leaning more to one of both or do you maintain a healthy balance? Do you know typical matchers/mismatchers around you?
Related posts:
- The four stages of learning anything in life
- How to become aware of your Blueprint of Life?
- How to build a 3-5 year vision and action plan
- How to discover what your life mission is in 30 minutes
- How to move from living from the mind to living from your heart
2 Responses to “Do you have a matcher or/and mismatcher attitude?”
Comment from Marc van der Linden
Time September 6, 2011 at 3:17 pm
HI Justin,
I already expected that: Most entrepreneurs have strong matching skills 
Mismatching is not always negative, but very useful if you want to specify very precise what you really want. E.g I adore eating cheese, but I don’t like old, smelling one. By being more precise in what I want I have to use also mismatching skills
Thanks for commenting!.
Comment from Justin | Mazzastick
Time September 5, 2011 at 11:43 pm
Hi Marc,
I am more of a matcher because I prefer to focus on life in a positive way. Yet I am willing to look at things that I don’t like and say it out loud.
Change comes when we say what we like and want.
Justin | Mazzastick recently posted..How To Be A Healthy Being