The 10 day mental challenge ( DAY 1) – you are not your emotions

This morning  my mental challenge has started. It was a rather easy start as I felt good prepared.  While writing this blog post in my apartment, I can see the sun shining through the terrace window. It is pretty cold with a nice, typical autumn weather. Although I’m facing different challenges in my life, I feel great, resourceful and faithful about my future plans.

I keep reminding myself about the main objective of this challenge and what it is going to bring me. If I discuss with people about my challenge, most people think is it about being positive. And then I explain that it is not about that at all. Being positive can help for this mental challenge, but it is not the goal. I believe that being positive the whole time is just impossible and against the laws of the universe. People who claim that it is possible are just plain liers. It is bullshit. There is no postive without a negative in this world.

It is not about being positive. It is about being resourceful and ready to bounce back to this state in case of emotional challenges. It is about searching fot solutions and acting on them instead of thinking about problems and complaining about them.

Emotions

Emotions are a feedback system of our body and mind that tells us what is going on. They give us a message and we can respond on them in 3 possible ways:

1. Act on the emotion

This is the most common way. You can go in the emotion and fully live it. If you feel anger, you can act angry. If you feel sad, you can act sad. If you feel great, you can act joyfully. If you feel energy, you can do something energetic.

If you act on a emotion, it becomes bigger and you perceive the world through the emotion, not how it really is. You see things like you think they are, not like how they really are. You get stuck in the emotion and lose you capability to feel new emotions.

2. Repress the emotion because of the context.

This is also a common way. When you feel the emotion, you can just refuse to accept it is there. If you feel anger, you can act cool. If you feel sad, you can hide it. If you feel great or energetic, you can hide it.

What you repress, will come back and grow. Always. If you repress anger for a long time, you will explode one day in the future. And if this is not happening, the anger will fight against your own body and you’ll become sick. It will find a way to manifest itself.

3. Consciously choose what to do and stay yourself.

This is the less common way which requires a higher form of consciousness.  When you feel your emotions, you can consciously think about what the message is and decide how you react. When you feel anger, you can ask yourself which personal value has been violated and what is the best possible action you can take. Based on your answer, you can decide what action to take.

For me, this is the best possible way to

• see the world like it really is – not like perceived through the glass of emotion.
• stay yourself.
• choose your own strategy
• decide about your own outcome in a given situation.

Conclusion

You are not your emotions. Emotions are a feedback from our mind and body. You can become aware of this and use it in your own interest.  During this challenge the focus is on finding solutions instead of being run by your emotions.

The first day started very good and I’m hopeful about this mental challenge. I’m very committed and want to use this challenge to learn to manage my emotions and stay myself.  Today I experienced several moments during the day when I became more aware about my own emotions. Forcing myself to react within a very short time – I have put 2 minutes as the maximum time to react, but as I cannot really measure that,  I translate this to ‘very very fast’. I already caught myself 3 times for minor negative thoughts and could turn them around. It works and it gives a great feeling.

I’m also aware that it helps that I have started on Sunday and that the weather is excellent. The start is great and it gives a great, fulfilling feeling.

photo by scottchan

Related posts:

• The 10 day mental challenge – announcement
• being positive?
• The 8 gratitude questions  -  seven evenings challenge  (Day after) – the 8 lessons
• How to improve your problem solving skills

4 Responses to “The 10 day mental challenge ( DAY 1) – you are not your emotions”

Comment from David Stevens
Time November 20, 2011 at 11:53 pm

Hi Marc,
I hope you get out of this “challenge”, what you are seeking. I’m no emotional expert however I know that we need them to survive. I guess it’s how you use them to best effect& knowing your “current emotional state”.
be good to yourself
David
David Stevens recently posted..Living Life Today – Excuses don’t cut it

Comment from Marc van der Linden
Time November 21, 2011 at 6:59 am

Hi David,

Thanks. We indeed need emotions to survive, but we don’t need that emotions take charge of us. For example, we need fear to survive. Without fear we would not be able to notice danger. It works wonderful for that. However, our fear system is very human and full of errors: we can be fearful without being in physical danger. We can see the world through the emotions of fear and see it in a distorted way. Emotions color our perception and hide who we truly are. WIth a mental challenge, I learn to see the world how it is and act on it from an intelligent way – not the emotional colored way.

Thanks for your reaction

Comment from Jimmy
Time November 22, 2011 at 11:48 pm

Marc,

I have to follow this challenge of yours. There is a lot of emotional baggage in my system now that needs to go somewhere.

You probably noticed that I have struggled with keeping up with my blogging already over the last week or so. This is due to all the preparation for my wedding which is finally over.

Although it was a joyous occasion, returning to reality sucks and therein lies my anger against all the things happening at home.

I am thankful that you have pointed me to relook at my own emotions and to ask what they are sign posting me at the moment. Reflecting back, I think my anger is a result of feeling that my wife has not been respectful of what I need in the family. The little things that I hate most is just eating me up. My tolerance is to the limit. Yet, I have not expressed them out. That’s probably the problem right now.

Comment from Marc van der Linden
Time November 23, 2011 at 7:26 am

Jimmy,

Congratulations with your wedding! It is a good reason to put blogging to a lower level. You have to put your priorities in life

I can understand that you feel sometimes not respected by your wife of what you need in the family, certainly in the context of the wedding. My future wife gives me sometimes a hard time too And I don’t know about your wife, but my future wife is enthusiast about our wedding and in that process just forget the ask my opinion about things. It is ok. It is to be expected. In a relationship you can expect to experience both support and challenge, positive and negative.

This mental challenge is wonderful in helping me with negative emotional charges – as fast as they occur: negative emotions can eat your up if you don’t deal with them. Reflecting and balancing them out, brings you back to yourself. Emotions are just emotions.

Thanks for sharing

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